Monday, 25 July 2016

How many tattoos do you have? Part forty two - head tattoo

Rather than chopping away at the side of my head with a dollar store razor I treated myself to a real fancy straight razor shave at Victory Barber and Brand. It was like going to a spa. I really wish I could get girl haircuts at a barber shop, they get right to it and you don't have to be all ... girly? There was good music, a comfortable atmosphere and everything is just, I don't know, classy in there.

I was honestly more nervous about the shave than the tattoo, probably because I didn't really know what to expect. It was fine. There was a lot of steam and hot towels and manly smells happening, but it was quick and painless.

I asked Tami for a non-floral mandala, just lines, geometric, simple. She nailed it. I wore an earplug and just zoned out while getting tattooed and it was REALLY easy.  I was expecting the worst and was very pleasantly surprised with how little it hurt. Around the front it was a tiny bit worse but really not bad.

I posted these pictures on Instagram and Facebook, and the next night my grandma called me from Calgary and said I looked like I needed some attention, which I can't stop laughing about. GRANDMA!!!

Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Dream vs. Reality

There was a wall of spiderwebs in my path. I bravely pinched strands and pushed them aside, but they twisted together and formed two thick ropes of sticky spider-infested web, one on either side. And then I tripped. I fell into one of the web ropes, and to the side of the path into some bushes. It wrapped around me. I was completely stuck in the disgusting trap I had created. The spiders bit my entire body. People walked by as I screamed for help with amused looks on their faces. Nobody helped me.

I finally struggled out and an old lady laughed at me and asked me if a spider bit my vagina.

Hey, not a coincidence that I had this dream while struggling with some depression and a fuckload of anxiety, huh?

(I am fine)

Monday, 18 July 2016


You know, this stupid blog has had over 170 THOUSAND pageviews. Who on earth? Why?

I didn't forget it, I just had a couple months of being too busy. There's only so much energy in this body and it turns out stress is the opposite of creativity. Too much of one and it wipes out the other. The scales should be going back to balance again soon, I predict.

But for now here are some links, because that is easy for me to do. Copy and paste.
Here we go!!


Sunday, 12 June 2016


Me: I just realized we didn't wash this blanket after we bought it and now I'm using it for snuggling.

Ryan: It's fine. We didn't wash the couch after we bought it either.


Saturday, 21 May 2016

How many tattoos do you have? Part forty one. Peony ankle.

I forgot I had this tattoo feature thing going on my blog. Ew. "Feature on my blog", that sounds so yucky. Scratch that.

You want to see my new tattoo?

This guy is from Gerry, the president of Tattoo Zoo. The plan is to eventually get black flowers all around the ankle/foot areas ... (that means I have to do this three more times!! aaah)  I asked for a "black flower" and he was like "what does that mean?" and I was like "you know, a cool flower but all black" and he was like "you want a tribal rose?" and I was like "no" and he was like "jk" and so I sent him some photos of stuff I like.


 ta daaaaaaaaa

Not gonna lie, it HURT. Of course, duh. But it was one of those ones where my body was like "hey, you better kick that guy in the face and run away" so I was fighting that urge the entire time. That bottom bit...FUCK THAT SHIT. I said "Son of a bitch" out loud when we got there.
Put a nickel in the swear jar.

I thought it would balloon up and I wouldn't be able to walk today but it's actually not that bad. I'm still not sure what sock/shoe combination I should wear to work though...

YAY new tattoo!!!

Sunday, 15 May 2016

free writing - tattoo talk and other stuff

Yesterday I went out in full tattoos-out mode - an above-the-knee summer dress with thin straps; my legs, back, arms and chest tattoos were all out.

The dress was from H&M so of course it was 100% see-through material, so underneath I wore an entire other outfit. I bought these two jumper things? Like full one-piece tanktop/shorts combo, they are the BEST for going underneath other stuff.

Anyway the point is how if I'm wearing just a t-shirt, showing a little bit of tattoo, everybody and their dog comes up to me to talk about them, but if they're ALL out there it's like I go into another category in people's heads. From "a woman with tattoos" to ... I don't know what. But I like it so much more when they're all out or none of them are.Everybody leaves me alone except with specific things like
"I love your Mr. Burns tattoo, that was a great episode"
or "hats off to you getting your knees done, my elbow hurt like a bitch"

I don't mind that stuff, I just hate the "did that hurt?"s, the "sick tats" or the ubiquitous *points to their own arms* "I love your tattoos".

I don't know why the last one is such a thing for me, but I kind of hate it when some stranger out of nowhere tells me they like something about me. It makes me so angry that they think I care about their opinion. I know "it's just a compliment" bla bla bla but I feel like subconsciously it runs deeper than that. Like they feel I should appreciate their opinion of my looks.

But that feeling kind of comes and goes depending on how I'm feeling mentally as well, it could be a manifestation of some of that crazy social anxiety.

Woops going downill there, let's get positive!

How about this: I have TWO tattoo appointments next week. One tomorrow from Nicole, she's gonna gimme a cute colorful cactus on my leg somewhere, and one on Friday with Gerry. A black flower. I have a funny gap between my leg tattoos and my foot tattoos that I am filling with black flowers. I'm not too picky what kind of flower or whatever, just something cool. AND BLAAAACK LIKE MY SOUUULLLL jk jk I just like black flower tattoos.

I can't even remember the last time I got tattooed, it's been way too long. I'm a little nervous!! Also I'm not. But I am. You know how it is. I'll be fine but I kind of forget how it feels?

Anyway woo tattoos!


Mini thing I'll get over in a few days:
I kind of hate the new instagram logo. 


I've been reading some good books lately! The WOOL omnibus is just as great as everybody says it is. I was SO into the action scenes I found myself holding my breath a couple times. And um...the story really has nothing to do with actual wool, in case that is putting you off reading it.

I literally JUST found out, while typing this, that there are more books in the Silo series. OMG I'm getting those RIGHT NOW. OK GOT THEM. You were just updated live.

I started Farenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury last night but I started reading it after I took my special night time don't be crazy pills, so I don't quite remember what I read. I hate that! I will forget complete conversations.

That book is one of those ones everybody says is SO GOOD SOOOOOOO GOOOOOOD so I've got really high expectations for it.It's funny how you hear about a book or a movie or whatever for years, and then you FINALLY consume it and you're like "oh, it IS actually good, that's what everybody was talking about." Like, duh, it's popular for a reason.

Most of the time.

Sometimes there's a Twilight out there to keep you on your toes.


(pain lines)

The dinoSORES are all colored in now, I just have to create a cover for it and they'll be ready to print. Let me ask you with a little unofficial survey if you don't mind. What do you think people...especially kids I guess because I unintentionally made a children's book ... would be most interested in:

A) Just the book printed in full color.
B) The book printed in full color, AND a separate coloring book of the same images sold together.
C) The book printed in full color, with a printed coloring book and a printable PDF version of either, all available separately (4 products total sold separately)
D) One book with the color version on the left page and an identical image black and white on the right side as a coloring page.
E) PDF everything.

I'm partial to option D but it might be too weird. I don't know.


I've been doing some drawings lately where I simply sit  down and let it come out, whatever "it" may be. That's the most fun way to make stuff. I'm enjoying bristol smooth paper with Speedball Super Black india ink, and my Faber Castell Pitt pens with this amazing little book I found for three bucks at a local book store. (I'm so getting more)

Of course, pencils and especially erasers are a huge part of it too. These are my two most recent creations. I didn't mean for the metamorphosis guy to look like Hunter S Thompson but it totally does. Let's just go with it even though it makes no sense.


I have to go do step-mom things soon.

I've been doing football-parent stuff on the weekends which is really cutting into my laying around time.  Last week I brought orange slices for the team. I went to a kid's football game with a tupperware full of sliced up oranges. I got a huge bag of oranges and sliced them into kid-sized slices. Then brought them in a tupperware to a bench of teenage football players. This happened.

There's this one mom, I don't care that I'm writing about her here because she's a complete psycho, oh my god I don't even know where to start.

She has a posh British accent and just is the most hateful shrill person I've ever seen. She couldn't find one of her kid's water bottles so she SCREAMED "I DONT HAVE FUCKING TIME TO FUCKING FIND YOUR FUCKING WATERBOTTLE". She screamed the other day that some BITCH BETTER MOVE HER FUCKING CAR OR ELSE SHE IS FUCKING GOING TO FUCKING GET IT. (Note: "Bitch"'s car was not even in her way, she just didn't like how she had to be slightly careful backing up) (Also note in each scenario she doesn't care how many little children and old grandmas and football authorities are around with all the swearing.)

She overheard Ryan telling the kid to thank a guest coach for coming out, and she told him to stop raising such a FUCKING SUCK UP. He told her he's just raising a descent human being and she went on this huge rant about how she guesses it's the husband's job to teach the boys things like that but it's her kid's fault she can't even get a boyfriend so nobody is there to teach her kids anything.


Anyway it's become a thing now, I HATE being anywhere near her and don't ever acknowledge her presence but Ryan thinks she's hilarious because she's like a caricature of somebody they'd cast to be the insane person to shake things up on a reality show.

So yeah long story short, I'm really looking forward to spending yet another Sunday in her presence rather than watching youtube videos of close-up magic and the MOST SURPRISING PERFORMANCES on  Britain's Got Talent.

So far the best one is this guy ...HOW DID HE DO IT? AAAH