Thursday, 11 August 2016

it's just a sprain

You guys have you ever sprained your ankle?

Growing up I heard the phrase "it's just a sprain" more than a few times. A sprain is a good thing, it's not BROKEN. No bones were injured so it's JUST sprained.

Jesus christ do I wish I had a broken bone. Do you know what a sprain even is? I didn't. But now I do and it's not the cute little baby injury I thought it was. For those of you who don't know, it's when you stretch or tear ligaments and tendons. I look at this diagram below and go ... yep that's where it hurts. All those red arrows are where it's fucked up. Plus some fun top of foot action and a weird thing in my shin.

It's been eleven days since I missed a step going into my mom's basement and landed ankle bone first with a twist on a concrete floor and it's still like ... AAAGH. I went back to the walk in clinic yesterday because it still hurts a LOT and I've got some fancy new bruises around my toes and on the arch of my foot ... totally normal, apparently.

So you guys...there's not a "just" when you talk about a sprained ankle. Seriously. SERIOUSLY. 

Monday, 25 July 2016

How many tattoos do you have? Part forty two - head tattoo

Rather than chopping away at the side of my head with a dollar store razor I treated myself to a real fancy straight razor shave at Victory Barber and Brand. It was like going to a spa. I really wish I could get girl haircuts at a barber shop, they get right to it and you don't have to be all ... girly? There was good music, a comfortable atmosphere and everything is just, I don't know, classy in there.

I was honestly more nervous about the shave than the tattoo, probably because I didn't really know what to expect. It was fine. There was a lot of steam and hot towels and manly smells happening, but it was quick and painless.

I asked Tami for a non-floral mandala, just lines, geometric, simple. She nailed it. I wore an earplug and just zoned out while getting tattooed and it was REALLY easy.  I was expecting the worst and was very pleasantly surprised with how little it hurt. Around the front it was a tiny bit worse but really not bad.

I posted these pictures on Instagram and Facebook, and the next night my grandma called me from Calgary and said I looked like I needed some attention, which I can't stop laughing about. GRANDMA!!!

Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Dream vs. Reality

There was a wall of spiderwebs in my path. I bravely pinched strands and pushed them aside, but they twisted together and formed two thick ropes of sticky spider-infested web, one on either side. And then I tripped. I fell into one of the web ropes, and to the side of the path into some bushes. It wrapped around me. I was completely stuck in the disgusting trap I had created. The spiders bit my entire body. People walked by as I screamed for help with amused looks on their faces. Nobody helped me.

I finally struggled out and an old lady laughed at me and asked me if a spider bit my vagina.

Hey, not a coincidence that I had this dream while struggling with some depression and a fuckload of anxiety, huh?

(I am fine)

Monday, 18 July 2016


You know, this stupid blog has had over 170 THOUSAND pageviews. Who on earth? Why?

I didn't forget it, I just had a couple months of being too busy. There's only so much energy in this body and it turns out stress is the opposite of creativity. Too much of one and it wipes out the other. The scales should be going back to balance again soon, I predict.

But for now here are some links, because that is easy for me to do. Copy and paste.
Here we go!!


Sunday, 12 June 2016


Me: I just realized we didn't wash this blanket after we bought it and now I'm using it for snuggling.

Ryan: It's fine. We didn't wash the couch after we bought it either.


Saturday, 21 May 2016

How many tattoos do you have? Part forty one. Peony ankle.

I forgot I had this tattoo feature thing going on my blog. Ew. "Feature on my blog", that sounds so yucky. Scratch that.

You want to see my new tattoo?

This guy is from Gerry, the president of Tattoo Zoo. The plan is to eventually get black flowers all around the ankle/foot areas ... (that means I have to do this three more times!! aaah)  I asked for a "black flower" and he was like "what does that mean?" and I was like "you know, a cool flower but all black" and he was like "you want a tribal rose?" and I was like "no" and he was like "jk" and so I sent him some photos of stuff I like.


 ta daaaaaaaaa

Not gonna lie, it HURT. Of course, duh. But it was one of those ones where my body was like "hey, you better kick that guy in the face and run away" so I was fighting that urge the entire time. That bottom bit...FUCK THAT SHIT. I said "Son of a bitch" out loud when we got there.
Put a nickel in the swear jar.

I thought it would balloon up and I wouldn't be able to walk today but it's actually not that bad. I'm still not sure what sock/shoe combination I should wear to work though...

YAY new tattoo!!!