I've really felt like writing here but I really have nothing positive to say, and I don't want this place to become a regrettable dismal complaint warehouse. I just have a lot of annoying/stupid/stressful things happening all at once this week, and honestly just feel like bitching and moaning everywhere. I'm not sad or angry, just fucking ... ugh. Like, leave me alone.
I think that's my wounded animal reaction though. I've been in constant (varying) pain for over a week now, and I'm like the snarling street-dog backed into a corner with a thorn in its paw. I've been trying not to take too many of the Tylenol 3s the doctor prescribed me because they get me super high and I lose time when I take them. I wouldn't call it blacking out but it's like, four hours passes and I think "What the hell did I just do for four hours?"
Oh alright and since I'm complaining here are some other things on my mind:
- It looks like I may, for the first time in my life, owe tax money. Like, a LOT of tax money. I don't know why but I tried filing online and it was like "you owe ten billion dollars". So I'm going to have to actually talk to a professional to see if there's something I did wrong or what. Because I made below the poverty line in Canada last year...they should be paying ME not the other way around.
- Tank's toenails are getting too long and I have dog nail clippers but I'm so scared I'm going to hurt him and keep putting off cutting them. I think I'll watch a bunch of how-to videos before I try it. But seriously I have to do it soon, they're like eagle talons at this point.
- My camera is broken and from what the lady at the camera store said, it is going to be a very expensive repair. It's my favorite thing to play with, I don't want to go without, but I also don't want to spend $200 to fix it when I can get a new one for $400, you know? It's four or five years old already and it's been getting slower and slower with age. I kind of just want a new one.
- I have to go get blood taken. It's no big deal but it's just another thing on the to-do list that I don't want to do.
- We are going away for the weekend, and it was supposed to be a fun lighthearted whirlwind trip while the kids were away at their mom's but everything keeps getting more and more complicated. Like now one of the kids is staying here so we have to arrange a place for him to stay overnight, and now I can't drink any alcohol or basically eat at any restaurant or anything so we have to like, pack a lunch for me. I also don't know the band we're going to see but Ryan loves them and he's meeting up with internet people so I feel like I have to be "on" ... it's going to be a huge room full of drunk hipsters. I'm already getting anxiety thinking about it.
- Friday I am going to the hospital at 8am (which means a 6am bus probably) to get a HIDA scan, so my pee is going to be radioactive for a few days and I'm not super nervous about it but I am a little nervous. Mainly because I have never been anywhere in that hospital before other than the emergency room and I have no idea how hospitals work or where I'm supposed to go.