Wednesday, 6 August 2014

I *almost* made a huge mistake!

I'm going to a wedding today and all week have been frantically searching for something nice to wear. Like, wedding guest nice. And so yesterday afternoon after work I walked down to the Target near the college and spent a freaking hour trying on dresses.

It's crazy how attracted I am to grey and black clothes but I was determined to get a cheerful summer dress. I forced myself to go over to the "cute" floral stuff and was disheartened at the ridiculously short length and/or transparency of everything. Seriously guys, why is everything totally fucking see-through??? What are you supposed to wear under these? Can somebody tell me? This is a real question, somebody tell me how to wear transparent clothes.

I walked past a sale rack and saw a dress so out of my wheelhouse ... but mayyyybe ...

I tried it on and DAMN GIRRRL I looked fantastic in it. And it was $12.50. Thank you, Target.

I was rather pleased with myself all the way home. I texted Ryan, saying I found the best dress everrrrrr. And when I got home I insisted on doing a fashion show for him right away so he could see how perfect this dress was.

I put it on, walked out to the living room and he said the obligatory "WOW" ... followed up by a "you can't wear that to a wedding'.

(record scratch)

Why not?

Yeah. I bought an off-white lacy dress.

I know.


I almost wore the same freaking colors as the bride. To her wedding.

AAAGH etiquette is hard.

Ryan took a picture of me in it and asked a gang of his internet friends if I could get away with it, and I got a unanimous 6/6 people saying absolutely not.

So I was feeling deflated, but luckily for me Ryan had to buy a new shirt for the wedding too, so we had to go back out shopping. I literally tried on every dress at H&M I could find in my size. Too short, too adolescent looking, too see-through, too short, too short, too mennonite-looking, too ugly, too yellow, too short, too short, hideous, too boring ... none of them were quite right.

Ryan found a ton of awesome stuff though, and then we went to Forever 21, which I have never shopped at in my life but I was getting desperate. And again, too short, too see-through, too short, a couple too big's and too tights, and then ... oh, this one's nice.

So I now own not one, but two new pretty dresses.

I told Ryan he has to take me out on a nice date now so I can wear the cream colored one somewhere. I feel absolutely gorgeous in it.

And that's the story of how I almost committed a fashion faux-pas. I know, groundbreaking journalism, right? But hey. Whatever. Shut up. Pretty dresses.

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