Thursday, 11 June 2015

decisions decisions

I'm going for it.

Let me back up.

After applying for the Comic Book and Graphic Novel program at the college, getting in, paying my deposit and telling the world about it, I found out that the bookstore where I work had posted a full-time cashier position, available ASAP.

This position pays ridiculously well. It's full time. Holidays, benefits, union job.

I seriously agonized over this. If I applied for (and got) this job, I couldn't go to school, because it's a Monday-Friday 8-4 job. But the MONEY. But then I'd be a cashier in a bookstore and have no time to do what I want to do. But THE MONEY. But I want to learn  BUT THE MONEY.

Well. I am pleased and afraid to say the artist in me won the battle.

I didn't even apply for the job. I thought so long and hard about this decision. My boss at the tattoo shop told me he Googled the instructor and I thought "hey, I should do that too".

And this is actually what won me over to the dark side. Because ...

I want to learn from this person. (and have a drawing studio like that too). I find the idea intimidating, scary, and exciting. And that's

well, I was going to say it's more important than job security but let's be real, it's not.

I may have made a stupid decision, tbh. BUT you know what?

I'm happy. And I'm doing what I want to do. And more than a couple people have said to me that it feels right, the timing was really weird, how I lost my job then didn't again, but that window of a couple weeks was the deadline to get into the program. And I've been drawing at such high volume...for what? Well I don't know but those drawings got me into the class.

Anyway it feels a little serendipitous.

Not that I necessarily believe in all that stuff.

SO long story short, I'm doing it. And I know it's kind of a dumb decision in some ways but I also don't care?

No I care.

But I'm doing it anyway.

And isn't that the creative person story? I hear it over and over, I listen to a lot of You Made it Weird and Nerdist podcasts where the comedian/actor/artist/musician did their thing even though the odds were against them, because they knew it was what they should be doing?

I'm feeling that way.

Anyway bla bla bla follow your dreams or whatever.

The end.

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