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I am beginning to understand how to believe in myself. I'm not only the sum total of the people I spend time with and the places I hang out. I have a voice inside me that deserves to be listened to. And I deserve to be taken seriously by me.
I had a meeting yesterday with the college newspaper and can now officially call myself a comic artist. I have my own 4x4 square in the paper that I get to fill with whatever I want every two weeks. I've been working out some ideas and it's really fun to try and make myself laugh and then figure out how to draw the thing.
I received a bursary for being a "low income" student, and have put the money toward my future and to help me in school now. I purchased a light table and a decent large-format scanner online, both should be here next week. I'm also "allowed" to buy whatever I think will help me succeed in making nice art. I am considering getting a drawing table that lifts up but I'm not sure I need that yet.
Yesterday I also placed an order for 30 more copies of my colouring books, because, believe it or not, I only have ONE left of the 120 I printed just a few weeks ago. Oh, and I'm working on a second one now as well.
I had a customized moleskine request from somebody on Etsy that made me super happy, she wants Bartman on the cover which I am more than happy to do! If you guys ever want something like that please let me know.
I bought a fuckton of markers for myself recently, as well as a large portfolio with a shoulder strap so I can bring things around with me on the bus, and a new carrier for my art supplies around the house. I also got myself an ames lettering guide (which I absolutely do not understand) and a fancy brush pen that I LOVE. It's so great.
What I'm saying is I'm setting myself up for success, saying yes to opportunities, and trying to remove all the obstacles I see before me before they become a problem. Oh, can't transport this from here to there? PORTFOLIO. Can't scan things onto the printer without being in the classroom? SCANNER.
I am also...
I am also...
I have a job interview on Monday morning. Again. For my own job.
This time I'm going to nail it.
Again, I've set myself up for success. I asked everybody who interviewed me last time what I did wrong and what I could do better, and now have a solid idea of how I should approach this interview.
I also asked to work in a different area of the college while interviews are happening, as last time it was horribly awkward to be sitting at my desk, literally 10 feet and one non-so-soundproof door away from the people trying to get my job.
I asked if I could go first this time too, so I won't have to agonize all morning before it happens. Instead I can go in fresh and ready.
Still not looking forward to it. This time it's a FOUR person panel interview.
Oh well. My supervisor told me she is certain I know what I'm doing in my job and I just need to be able to articulate it well, I'm going to practice out loud later today when I'm home alone. Good times.
I'm still trying to read more, but have been so lazy about it. I'm about halfway through an excellent book: The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie. It's great, it's funny, it's tragic, there's no flowery language ... I love it. But even so it feels like a chore I have to sit down and force myself to do, which is weird for me. I am usually all about reading books all the time.
Still obsessed with the You Made it Weird and Nerdist podcasts. I alternate between the two and there is enough for me to basically never run out. I have other ones I have been meaning to try but haven't given a fair shake yet.
As far as music goes, nothing new has stirred my soul. I still love Nick Cave/Grinderman, Graveyard and Ghost (so theatrical!) the best, and for a quieter mood I like Infilm and Radiohead. If I'm feeling nostalgic I like the Misfits or Nirvana or Soundgarden or Marilyn Manson. If I'm feeling super extra beyond my own lifespan nostalgic I'm into Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin.
Wow ok I just spent like 2 hours watching music videos.
I'm between show obsessions right now. Please give me suggestions, especially if it's something I can find on Netflix. Right now I just put on episodes of That 70s Show when I need some background noise. It's just ok.
Comic strip ideas, homework for class, learning to draw people better ... I am getting better though!
I mean, considering 3 weeks ago I couldn't even do a stick man well, this is pretty alright. Our model was a man last week and it's a totally different experience to draw a man, the proportions are very different from a woman! I mean, duh, of course they are, but really, I had to start from scratch in my drawing head if that makes sense.
TRYING NOT TO:
Get any fatter. The combination of a pretty sedentary and yet stressful life is not doing my big butt any good. I am at the uppermost number I am okay with being, weight-wise, and even there I feel uncomfortable and judged every second I'm out in public. When I see myself in the mirror I don't look the way I look in my imagination. That's not a nice feeling.
I am taking a combination of drugs, almost all of which list "weight gain" as one of their side effects. I won't blame only the pills, as I haven't been to the gym in probably a year, and ate a giant slice of cheesecake only a few days ago without a second thought. It's not like I'm really trying that hard. So I'm going to make myself improve this part of my life more as well.
Take yourself seriously Nova, remember? Including health!!! That's a big one.
Cutting my hair off. But I'm not sure. I do like my ridiculous long hair sometimes. And I hate it sometimes. Like when I put on a backpack and it gets stuck underneath.
Hey I'm going to make a comic about the perils of having long hair. YES omg perfect first comic. Thank you, blogging for helping me get my ideas out.
What else, what else.
Nothing really, I guess.
Have a nice Sunday!